Duck Traffic Jam

This morning’s traffic was of the water-based, two-winged variety:



Total Recall – A Father’s Guide to Holding the Baby

Since the birth of Prince George, I’ve noticed nothing but newborns and their delightfully happy parent’s. It’s such a wonderful time that I can’t help but smile to myself as they so gleefully stroll around, baby-in-tow, showing them off for all to see – and rightly so.

Slightly concerned about one father’s rather vocal thoughts as he boarded a train to London Waterloo this morning. He was holding his baby in one of those front facing, tie-around-waist, carry things (I’m sure there’s a technical name for it – please do let me know!).

“How does it feel to be a new Dad, out and about in town?” Adoring mother.

“At the moment I feel like that guy in Total Recall. The one with that mini human growing from his stomach.” Doting Dad.

Adoring mother’s look was priceless. Needless to say, she left the train very much ‘holding the baby’.

Travelling by Numbers

My journey today was dotted with numerical folly. Well, I made it that way, to pass the oh so over-heated time.


  • Five BBQ wafts from sun-filled gardens
  • Three battery-powered fans (gotta get me one of those)
  • One gentleman sharing too much info regarding his bladder strength: “Is there a toilet on the train? Will I have to hold it?”
  • Too many pairs of flip flops to count
  • Three frappuccinos
  • Two paddling pools
  • One recession busting florist selling BBQs as well as foliage
  • Numerous woman who appear completely unfazed by the heat. How do they look so cool, calm and un-sweaty? I would love to know their secret. Anyone?


Don’t Talk to Strangers (unless you want to know where they bought their bag!).

I’m getting good at this approaching strangers lark. Last week it resulted in the perfume discovery of my life, today, a neat little shoulder bag a la Ted Baker!

My fellow commuter was sporting a stunning, colour-of-the-season, canary-yellow pleated skirt, beautifully punctuated by Kaiza, Ted Baker’s latest floral effort. The elegant pleated effect gives life to the stunning daisies and pansies covering this shoulder/tablet bag and brought even more sunshine to my morning commute. Divine.


I Have A New Fragrance Crush

I once read that your scent should never enter a room before you do. Which roughly translates as: don’t overdo the fragrance for fear of chocking every passer-by with what is more often than not, a vile aroma of high-pitched, floral tones.

I love a good perfume discovery and am always on the sniff-out for a new and exciting scent. This morning, I made that discovery.

As I stood on the platform taking in the view (the lady opposite was trying in vein to get her toddler to keep his sunhat on) I was distracted. Not by Mr Lunge (see entry Feb 7th) and not by Inflatable Genitalia (see entry May 25th) but by what can only be described as the most magnificent smell my nostrils have ever encountered.

The platform was relatively empty so I could easily track down the lady wearing this divine scent. I casually re-positioned myself next to her, inhaled slowly and let the aroma spoil my senses. It was heavenly.

Never one to miss an opportunity, I enquired as to what she was wearing.

“Iris Nobile Sublime by Aqua di Parma. Gorgeous, isn’t it?” Perfume Lady.

“Absolutely lovely. “ Me.

What I wanted to say was: “Hell yes! I wanna remove my nose and stick it permanently about your person!”

I sat behind Perfume Lady so as to enjoy the scent for as long as possible. It was a real treat for my nose.

Iris, I learnt, has many layers: a fruity, citrussy-sharp top note. A grown up, but not too sickly sweet, syrupy aroma – imagine Willy Wonka’s factory full of edible jewels, I’m thinking De Beers, Chopard, Faberge – and lashings of delicate floral tones, with Iris taking centre stage. All this finished off with a musky warmth, romantic enough to accompany any mid-summer evening.

Did I take a diversion home past John Lewis to see Iris in the flesh? Yep! Did I manage to wangle a 5ml sample to treasure until I make THE perfume purchase of my life? Oh yes. Will Iris enter a room before me? I hope so and I hope to be the talk of that room long after Iris and I have left the building.