Feb’s favourite entry!

When is it appropriate to do lunges on a train?

In my experience (!) never. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not against early morning exercise, but to subject an entire carriage full of rush-hour commuters to aisle lunges, pole stretches and extreme heavy breathing, is neither pleasant nor necessary. I have seen grown men wince while ‘Mr Lunge’ ungracefully thrusts his pelvis into any available space. I dread to think where he showers down………..

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“You simply de-construct the turkey breast.”

Whoooah there Heston! I’m all for experimental cooking, but discussing the ins and outs of a deceased bird at 7.45am is not the most welcoming conversation to catch a snippet of – especially while I’m surreptitiously trying to read this mornings headlines over a suited and booted man’s shoulder.

Turkey is completely out of season and exactly how much deconstructive work does a breast require? I wait in anticipation for my fellow commutee’s next installment – how to tailor your toast, perhaps?

“Did I tell you my sister had a boob job?”

And there it is. All the subtlety of a vuvuzela.

Now I’ve really lost my train of thought. I’m sure they look fabulous, but I’m getting off at the next stop so will never know all the gory details (and I’m sure there will be no holding back, this woman’s phone etiquette is purely non-existent!!!).