The Wedding Watcher

I consider myself quite the wedding connoisseur. There’s something about the romance of a wedding that captures my full attention.

Like having a sixth sense, I reckon I can spot a weeding a mile off. I’m not talking the obvious; a blushing bride or a Rolls Royce Silver Cloud floating by on a Saturday afternoon, I’m talking about those surreptitious little moments that could go unnoticed to the untrained eye.

On Friday, I saw what could only be described as a ‘plethora of palm trees’. Being delivered en masse, to a local island venue (yep, island!) members of staff could be seen scuttling around with all the energy of an Oompa Loompa, transporting palm after palm. Naturally my mind began to conjure up endless uses for these exotic plants:

  • A tree-lined aisle
  • A unique (if rather impractical to carry home) favour
  • A foliage-themed ceremony backdrop. Well, if it’s good enough for Kanye and Kim…


During a mid-week stroll I spotted a tray of dainty buttonholes being delivered via the side entrance to a rather beautiful local property. What things they’ll see while in prime position, delicately pinned to someone’s lapel.

And how could I miss a Vera Wang dress bag as it elegantly hung from a car passenger window as I sat in rush hour traffic. If only I could’ve caught a glimpse of the dress.


But my favourite wedding spot has to be one from last year. The 17.28 to London Waterloo was always relatively empty, making Peak Time Tales far easier to witness. As the train left Richmond station I noticed a man furiously making notes. Perhaps I was being Peak Time Taled? Thankfully, I wasn’t. I caught a glimpse of Mr Frantic’s reading material, ‘The Best Man Speaker’. These words alone are enough to send the most confident of public speakers into a state a panic. Was this a last-ditched attempt to write that showstopper of a speech? Had Google’s ‘Best Man Jokes’ search failed him? Had his other half heard a preview of said speech and demanded a rewrite or perhaps he was the groom, had heard a preview of the speech and was rewriting it for himself? Now wouldn’t that be something? Whatever his role, I hope the speech was a success and managed to get a few belly laughs. Or at the very least, make the bride blush!