Crossed wires or an unparalleled Universe?

“You’ve only just watched Inception? It put you to sleep! You serious? You need to get off my line bruv!”

Dare I mention to this aggravated student (A1 art folder in tow – dead give away) that I too found it a tad uninspiring? Nah, she might get all 4-dimensional on me and start walking on the ceiling.


How to kill you child’s ambitions in one fail swoop.

“They don’t call me the ‘Michael Jackson MJ Master’ for nothing.” Cue moonwalking down train carriage.

“They don’t call you that.”

Nice one responsible adult. A frustrated dancer, perhaps?

Excuse me, but are you my neighbour?

The close proximity by which commuters must travel has always been one of my pet-hates. It’s either a game of human Tetris or free-standing Twister. Eye contact must be avoided at all costs and if a sweaty armpit accidentally finds its way about your person – keep calm and carry on!

This evening was a little different. Not only did I catch the eye of a fellow traveller, but upon this inadvertent interaction, the face looked familiar. Perhaps she was on the 8.19am this morning, or waiting on the platform? No, that’s not it. Ah, the penny drops. I compose a half smile (incase I’m mistaken). She acknowledges this gesture so I know I’m correct in asking, “Excuse me, but are you my neighbour?”

I moved into my flat over one year ago and this was our first conversation. Turns out, we have more in common than a postcode!

Probably the best ice cream in the world…?

I didn’t want to mention the weather, but it appears yesterday’s glorious sunshine sent one woman a little too ‘heat stroke’ crazy.  Few of us can resist the urge of a Mr Whippy when summer finally shows her face, but that irreplaceable innocence of the forever-vintage ice cream van, would be lost forever should this woman’s request become a reality.

“Do you sell Carlsberg?”

Carlsberg? Carlsberg?! Damn right you walk away with your tail between your legs! There’s no room for a flake in that, love!